The wierdest thing is going on in my bathroom. Everytime I sit on the toilet, it leaves my ass wet. Frustrated, I wiped my hand across the seat to find that it's completely dry. Despite its arid state, my butt still gets wet when I sit down. What the hell??

I know you probably couldn't care less about this weird phenomenon happening in my bathroom, but it's driving me bananas. I've resorted to squatting over my own toilet. If I hold my hand over the bowl, I can feel the warm, moist air rising up over the seat like some sort of muggy pot hole. It's truly freaking me out...