Rental cars are so fucking expensive. I'm a little bit pissed off because my mother called this morning at 7:00 to tell me that she can't bring me to the airport to pick up a car. I was planning on getting a car at the airport because they're cheaper. She and my father and grandmother are taking a trip to VT (I'm not going) and on their way, they drive right past the airport exit. Apparently it's too much to ask for them to just pull off and dump me at the airport. Why can't I just pick up the car at the airport when I arrive, you ask? Well, I'll be shit-faced. It's the only way I fly...
Anyway, it's my problem and I'll figure it out. The town where I'm from is so primitive, it only has one big-name rental car place to choose from. I can't even take a cab from the airport to my house because cabs don't go to the town. Not even a shuttle service! I haven't even gotten there yet and I'm already getting worked up. This happens every time I go back to CT to visit. I think I just need to chill and remember why I'm going - to visit family, friends, and go shopping at HM!
I had another bizarre dream last night. My husband and I were spending a lot of time at this ramshackle house full of girls, ages 7-17. There were about seven of them as well as two young women in their late teens or early twenties that lived there. The girls were all deeply troubled and I was trying to help them sort through their various emotional problems. I was acting like a counselor or something. Anyway, Raul was working on a computer problem they'd been having. While all this was going on, I became friendly with the two young women and found out that they were the mothers of all the girls. For some reason, this really shocked me and I started crying, saying, "but I thought you were their sisters."
Their house was littered with trash and I particularly remember their front yard being a total mess, full of newspapers and scattered with junk. Inside the house, they kept about five cats, one of which was our cat Hugo, whom we had to put to sleep a couple weeks ago because he was suffering with kidney failure. In my dream, we had to put the snake to sleep because the cats kept attacking it and every time I looked at Hugo, he was curled up and sleeping. Somehow, I knew in my dream that he was very sick.
Around this time, a very large man with grey hair and a matching beard showed up. He was like "the boss" or something, and may have been the young women's father. He demanded that Raul stay in the house because he had such good "organizational skills" and could lend some sort of unity to the mess their lives had become. He also said that Raul would be paid handsomely for this. Without warning, he turned to me and said, "If you want to stay here, you may, but we'll need you to clean this place up, starting with the front yard." I became very emotional and started crying.
That's all I remember. Maybe this dream was a reflection on how much I hate cleaning. Hmmm……
Okay, I know you should probably never post while you're shit-faced, but I don't care. I went to a party tonight and met some really cool people. Makes me realize what a social retard I've been. Just tried to call friends (drunk dialing) to chat. I'm going to try some more now...
Went to see Gold Member and laughed my ass off. That man is so funny. It's amazing to see a third installment in a trilogy that didn't suck. In fact, it was knock-down funny. The beginning scene is worth the price of admission alone. If you haven't seen it yet, run out to your nearest theater right now, you sexy beast!!!!
It's pouring here. I woke to the sound of rain pounding the ground and I thought I was dreaming. Turns out it's really happening. Amazing. I haven't seen rain like this in ages. It's the perfect day to go to the movies. I'm dying to see the new Austin Powers. Guess I might have to make that a priority today.
I had the weirdest dreams last night (if you know me, you'll know this is nothing new). It involved looking at some sort of illustrated tell-all book that a glitter-rock groupie had recently penned. In my dream, she was supposed to be very famous even though I've never heard of her before in reality. Anyway, when I opened the book and looked at the pictures (most were of wild parties), they started to move as if they were coming to life. It was bizarre. I think the dream comes out of having just finished reading "Pretty Things" by Susan Compo. The book chronicles the fictional lives of some nutty Hollywood types, one being a glam groupie. Really fun stuff. I suggest you read it!
The night before, the dream was even stranger. I was in my friend Jodi's old back yard (we grew up across the street from each other) with someone (can't remember who). We were looking for the body of a dog. There was a rumor that my husband knew of a dog that had disappeared and we were sure it was dead. For some reason I thought we would find him in Jodi's back yard. Oddly enough, I dream about this area frequently. In my dreams, there's always a pool there. Jodi's family used to have one, but had it torn down years ago. Anyway, we were walking around behind the pool when we came to an area where there were three graves. Immediately I thought that they had to do with the missing dog, but as we moved closer, I realized that they were all graves of cats. Discouraged, we turned and moved on. This is where the dream gets really weird. As we were walking, I remember looking at the ground. It was a sunny day and there were patches of sun on the ground intersected by the shadows of leaves and tree limbs. Strangely, the shadows were glowing green and there was an amazing green light emanating from out of the woods bordering the yard. Between the green light and the sun, the area was utterly gleaming. The luminosity seemed to go inside of me and lift me up, even though I was still walking on the ground. I remember thinking: This is so beautiful. How can we hold on to these memories and not let them get away from us? I don't remember anything after that. Weeiiirrrrd….
The wierdest thing is going on in my bathroom. Everytime I sit on the toilet, it leaves my ass wet. Frustrated, I wiped my hand across the seat to find that it's completely dry. Despite its arid state, my butt still gets wet when I sit down. What the hell??
I know you probably couldn't care less about this weird phenomenon happening in my bathroom, but it's driving me bananas. I've resorted to squatting over my own toilet. If I hold my hand over the bowl, I can feel the warm, moist air rising up over the seat like some sort of muggy pot hole. It's truly freaking me out...
Last night E! ranked the "25 Funniest People in Entertainment." While I agree with a lot of who they chose, I think they left some important people out. So here's my list of "The 25 Funniest People (Alive) in Entertainment" (Not all are necessarily "comedians". These people just crack my shit up):